I had to become an alcoholic to realize that everything is so much more fun and meaningful without alcohol.
But my first week of recovery was all about fighting urges and battling boredome. I did everything with a beer or glass of wine. But instead of drinking, I am now living.
Everyone is different. For me, I had a moment of clarity that filled then propelled my conviction to live sober. The feeling gets stronger and stronger. I feel high. I'm high on life.
If my husband was a drinker and continued...I can't say for sure where I'd be at with sobriety. I'm sorry that you are struggling. It takes a lot of will power to manage sobriety around a user. My huband and I are getting sober at the same time. It's like we just met! It's been a wonderful couple of weeks but not without trepidation.
Stick it out. How will you know unless do? It gets better. Drinking will only get in the way of things getting better.