I don't have any advice, unfortunately.
XABF also objected to me going to Al-Anon, although in my/his case he was an abusive, controlling alcoholic and I did not feel safe attending against his wishes.
He did tell me once, "Thank you so much for going to Al-Anon to learn how to help me, but I'm never going to drink again, so you don't need to go anymore." After that, I wasn't "permitted" to attend, and didn't start again until he was in rehab and my locks were changed.
I think that they're threatened when they see positive changes in us, and don't like the change because they don't want to lose the subservient codependent they're used to having.