Rehab once this year. He's not in rehab again. Detox. Working through this with his sponsor. He hasn't lived with me before this. This was a set agreement that was worked out with his rehab counselors 9 months ago. I have no expectations that this time will be different. None. He's a tenant, and if he screws up he's gone. Period. I did this 6 years ago so I know the drill. The GF had rules too in order to be allowed in the house. There are probation requirements as well. Both of them broke house rules. She had agreed to the drug and alcohol free home. She drank with him. She's not an alcoholic like he is, but no addict should drink. She had obligations to the family because she intends to be part of it. They are engaged. No date is set. She has been in the family for 5 years.
I simply want to find a way to hold her accountable while also while tempering it with some tiny level of compassion.
I have no delusions of grandeur as far as my son is concerned. I just don't want to let my anger rule my boundaries with the GF. My tendency is not to enable, but rather to get angry and fail to find compassion for the addict. To push my son away, not pull him close. I shut my son out in large part for the last 6 years. I'm trying to find a more understanding and compassionate way to deal with this.
Thank you.