Dollydo, ohmygosh, no! I have to be more careful how I state things! He is NOT allowed to drink in my home, out of my home, in the garage, on the moon, anywhere... and still live with me. He can drink whenever he wants and I can't control him, but he won't be living with me while he does it. When I say he can't drink in my home, what I mean is that he can't drink while living with me.
The relapse was about three weeks ago and included drugs and alcohol. It was all the same relapse. After being clean for almost 9 months.
He had to go detox or leave.
He hasn't lived with me for 6 years (until the last 9 months). When he came here from rehab, we had a relapse agreement worked out with the rehab counselors. That went into effect when I found out about this relapse three weeks ago with drugs and alcohol.
A subsequent relapse will result in him leaving the house. This includes drugs or alcohol.
So he's currently in my home. Not drinking or using. Testing again through his IOP. He started another IOP as part of the relapse agreement. He is very upset with himself and wants to get back on the right path.
My problem is what to do with the RAGF who was privy to his relapse and enabled him under my roof.
Also, my other kids have their OWN boundaries for their brother and his GF that come in to play here.
I just want to make sure I'm staying true to my boundaries and not letting her off the hook as part of some package deal with my son.