Hi Yorkie,
I whole-heartedly agree about getting back on birth control.
Also, it seems to me like you may need to step back from this (perhaps by taking your SIL's advice and developing the capacity to live for yourself), and decide what you want, considering the fact that your partner does not seem to want to be with you. Were I in your shoes, I would have a serious discussions with myself to work out what MY wants/needs/priorities are. It seems clear that you and your H do not share a lot of priorities. IMO, in answer to the question in your last post, you cannot place the blame for this horrid behaviour on your partner's past alcoholism. He is treating you the way he is treating you because he *chooses* to do so. Recoving from an addiction does not give anyone a valid excuse to mistreat their partners, friends or family.
In any case, once you've decided what you want to do, independently of what he does/thinks, perhaps you'll be in a better place, emotionally speaking, to devise a plan of action. You may not have money at the moment, but that situation can be corrected in time.