Hi,
I'd say that you married a bully, an abusive man.
Many abusive men have the ability to read women who are needy, vulnerable or lonely.
It has been shown that many women are preprogrammed to feel emotionally dependent on a man, they fear that they cannot be alone. Abusive men seem to seek out dependent women.
Do I agree with your SIL, no, to me, all that will do is make him more angery, and abusive.
Has he been married before? If so, what happened there? Generally,past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior.
If he is not interested in going forward with you, the house can be put up for sale. If he is on the mortgage he is equally responsible to pay the mortgage payment. You can find a apartment or a home that will rent to people who have pets.
Sounds like you are awfulizing, and projecting, this is not healthy for you to do.
Have you read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie? It may help you work through this situation with your husband.
Keep posting, keep reading around this forum, lots of knowledge here.
I am sorry that this is happening to you, you don't have to make any decisions today.