Sober husband and marital problems
This is my first time here. My name is Dana. My husband is 14 years sober. We have been together for 4 years and married for almost 2. I have known him for 9 years and we were friends before we got together. I am 18 years younger than my husband. Alcoholism runs in his family. His father recently passed away and was over 30 years sober, and his brother is over 20 years sober.
I don't really know where to start. My husband is treating me terribly. He is going to therapy sessions and I got us hooked up with a therapist for marital counseling, but he is resisting continuing the sessions. His reasoning is that he is saying that the problems are all mine, not joint and not his, and I don't think that's fair.
He recently told me that I am the "worst mistake he ever made". That hurt me so badly.
Last week I saw him making inappropriate comments to a childhood friend from his neighborhood, I saw this on his phone. I questioned him about it and he said he was sorry and it won't happen again, but I don't trust him.
We recently moved to our new home, (7 months ago), prior to that we did not have problems like this. Last night he told me that in the past 5 months he decided that I am "not what he's looking for". I didn't change so I don't know why what he is looking for has changed. He told me he wants to leave me and that he will figure out how to get on his feet but he will work it out. Since we moved to the bigger house, I can't afford to live there alone if he does leave. Where we lived before was originally my condo and I easily afforded it on my own. Right now I am feeling like he duped me, he tricked me... and now I lost my affordable house, have no money and nowhere to go if he actually leaves, and I am really scared.
We do not have children but about 4 months ago he actually told me we should start trying for kids! I stopped my pill and we had a fertility appointment with my OB GYN! Why?? If he had already decided I "wasn't what he was looking for"?
I am confused, scared, don't know where to turn.
He attends meetings once a week, it should probably be more often than that.
I am planning to go to my first Al Anon meeting tonight in town and don't know what to expect. Can this help someone like me?
I don't know what to do, if he leaves I am in a financial bind, and I also love him dearly even though the things he's been saying to me and the way he is treating me are so hard to deal with. I really want to get back to a good place.