pumpkin soup - thank you so much for your insight and your encouragement
displacedgrits - My doctor said the very same thing - he wants me to write down every drink I have and keep a log and bring it when I go back to check in. I have made up my mind that I am going to be totally honest with him and myself on this journey, that is the only way I have a chance of overcoming this.
I have so many good things happening in my life now...a new job, my daughter made the highschool volleyball team last night, these are all things I want to enjoy.
Again, thank you all for your support!