I'm by no means in your shoes, i'm not even married to begin with, but this is my story:
I got to know my ex through casual drinking and very soon we were partying like no end. When we decided to get together, she managed to put a fullstop to everything instantly, whereas i didnt want to. I was under the illusion that drinking kept me confident and all. Boy was i wrong. 2 1/2 years later, i myself decided i had to end things with her for not wanting to hurt her further.
I guess what im trying to say is, in my case at least, if only I had helped myself and started proving to her how beautiful life can be without alcohol, somehow she would have understood. As DisplacedGRITS said, counseling would do good even if only for a few sessions.
Best of luck.