It can be a rather simple thing, if you want it to be...
And feeling bad about your coping skills, frustration and such... that's all valid and par for the course, I'd say. Part of you wants to be sober, yet some part of you wants that drink. Ambivalence in dealing with an addiction is maddening.
For me, the only thing in the world that brought hope, peace and security... and now, confidence... was deciding that I would never drink again, no matter what... under no circumstance will I ever drink. Good or bad... rain or shine... I do not drink.
The idea was anxiety-provoking initially, then rather shocking... and now it's exhilarating.
Originally Posted by
NobleCause 
I'm realizing that I don't have much of a repertoire for coping just yet. I've been a one trick pony for lots of years and it almost feels like an arrested development. And it's an added level of humbling and frustrating to confront that on top of trying to react to the present drama.