I Finally Said No
It has been quite some time since I've posted however I am never very far. I come here every day and read.
To refresh, I have a 25 year old daughter who is an alcoholic. Has been in and out of rehab 5/6 times. The first one being 6 or 7 months as an adolesent. The last one being 3 months about 2 years ago. Needless to say about 7 months ago we let her come back home to continue school, find a job and save some money so she could move out when she has saved enough money to do so. When she had moved out to go to school she moved out with no job in the area she was going to, not a good idea. About 6 weeks ago I asked her to "get out" as she was having problems living by our rules. She left, and moved out with move friends. I talked with her last night and she told me she was living with another friend as she was having problems with the family she was living with in the begining. She said "proved you right and me wrong again" She was at work so we didn't talk long. At 3:45 this mornig she called and had been arrested, would I come and bail her out. I said no. Up to this time she was all sweet and it wasn't her fault. Once I said no it was "you won't come get your caughter from jail, F*** You and hung up. It felt so bad I was just shaking. Called my husband who drives truck over the road and he agreed we had finally done the right thing cuz in the past we would bail her out. Anyway, I really need some reinforcement that I did the right thing to keep me strong. She already called this morning and I missed her call. I know she will call again and cry about she needs to keep her job. Don't even know if I would have enough to bail her out. At first the charges were disorderly conduct but before she hung up said something about battery, and the way she talked it may be against a police officer. She did that once before and bail was 5,000. We bailed her out then but that is a whole nother story.
I have been to al-anon before and stoped going as I am not really the group meeting type. I do my reading everyday and have learned so much from family groups while she was in rehab.
Any reinforcement that we have done the right thing would be appreciated. Thanks!