I never quit long enough to consider a return to drinking a big 'relapse' but what I was thinking was
- see quitting is easy! I can just do it again on monday!
or
- I'll just have one last blow out and then quit
or
- being sober was nice. but moderation would be nicer! Let's try that again!
I would basically just hit a wall where I wasn't having fun/staying calm and felt like in that moment drinking would be a good choice. I don't think I ever saw beyond the next few minutes or something. I don't know. In sobriety I've learned how to accept crappy days as nothing more than.. well, a crappy day! I was so prone to
as an active alcoholic. A better ability to see the big picture if one of the hallmarks of my sobriety.
Hope things turn around for you, soon.