I read your post and know that I will be living it one day in the near future. I already see it in my mind's eye of how it will happen. My best friend said, "Are you sure you can handle the fact that he is going to die?" I said yes..at one point he asked me what will happen to us since our relationship won't make it. I told him, "You will be in the hospital, dying, and tell your children that wherever she is in the world, find her." And he said, "YES"..I pray for the strength you have shown..