Flygirl11,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss hon. Big (((((hugs)))))) to you during this difficult time. It's okay to feel a little confused with all of the emotions going through you at the moment. We all know that an alcoholic that is not in recovery can only get progressively worse, but it is naturally still a shock when something of this nature happens, and so suddenly at that.
Like you mentioned, take it one step at a time. Be easy on yourself and do the things that make you feel relaxed and happy. It really sounds like you did everything you could for the man you loved, and even truly beyond that. His alcoholism was only ever in his hands though, and it's very sad that it had to end this way.
Keep posting here and reading, it will help to ease the pain. Lots of love to you,
Bruingirl