Well I did it the hard way, I decided to give up the license as I had no support at the time to go thru rehab or to meet with the BON. The whole thing made me nauseated with fear. I did nothing for 3 years then I decided to fix it. I called the BON and got into my states Program of recovery for nurses. I had to prove 2 years of sobriety before the BON would return my license and I am about 1 month shy of 3 years clean now. I had to get off the Inspector General list that barred me from working in medicare. I am about to get back into bedside nursing at the hospital that originally fired me and this whole thing has taken a toll but I've learned alot about myself in this journey. I am not defined by my profession. I just happen to be an RN that's not my whole identity. I'm okay with me and the majority of the shame I've worked thru. It just takes time to deal with all these issues. I don't know how supportive the staff will be with me, this isn't the same floor I worked on, but I'm on narcotic restrictions for at least the next 6 months if not 12 months.
I recommend getting treatment to allievate the low self esteem, working off in home health or areas that aren't supervised is dangerous. We need lots of eyes on us even if it is uncomfortable to be monitored. Getting plenty of rest, guarding against tired and hungry and taking care of us..... and leaving what we can't change or control to someone else to fix will bring us the best results. I swear I don't want to be caught up in any politics at work, just happy to be me, me care taking is a huge job.
You guys can do it, if you want something bad enough it is doable and your HP will help you thru all your fears. Hugs to everyone that's been in this pain, it's really the hardest thing I've ever been thru. There is light though thru this trip not just at the end.