Impurrfect Boy, we nurses sure make good codies, don't we? We just think we can fix EVVVVVERYTHING. Meanwhile are completely oblivious to our own self destruction.
Please don't admire me (us) who are jumping through these hoops... I feel very strongly that it is just mercy and luck that allowed me the opportunity. I have heard stories of SO many nurses who didn't have the chance. When I was at the height of my addiction (after getting caught, denying and subsequently fired,) I would NOT have been able to abide by and comply with the BON regulations. I was fortunate enough to get my $**t straight long enough to get a job, get insurance and THEN get the actual rehab, therapy and care I needed. If I had been forced to do so at the time I truly SHOULD have, it would have resulted in me surrendering my license as I would not have been able to afford or perform all of their incredible demands. I feel so incredibly lucky and grateful that the opportunity came when it did, and I am able to save myself AND my career. It could have been much, much worse for me.
Your calling is to help others, and once you've helped yourself get to a healthy and secure place, you will find that niche for yourself again- with or without your nursing license. There are SO many things you can do in many different fields that will allow you to share your gift and touch the lives of others.
Every single story I read here makes me say, "there but for the grace of god go I..." Which is a phrase I strangely have never used before in my life. It means a great deal to me now, because I KNOW that my bottom could have been anyone else's bottom. If someone had offered me crack, heroin, meth (pick your poison!) at the height of my addiction or early fragile recovery, you bet your butt I would have used it! Ooooh, boy, I FANTASIZED that someone would just offer me something to take that pain, depression, shame away. It didn't happen, and again I am grateful. I feel stronger and more capable now. I feel more in control of my life and know that I am sick and must treat that disease for the rest of my life. I am dedicated.
Thank you for sharing. Thank you for inspiring me and others.