NVRAGAIN- How funny to see someone else mention taking frequent hot baths. While I was w/ding I did it so often I'd run out of hot water. I had no idea why or what was driving me, maybe just the need to do SOMETHING. I was miserable. It took me about 2 weeks to even feel capable of functioning outside of my apartment... no, my COUCH. I also was twitchy, irritable, unable to sleep or eat, sneezing, and worst of all, the MALAISE. It was as if every single ounce of energy, motivation or desire was sucked from me. I literally felt SHORT OF BREATH walking from one room to another. I laid on the couch watching TV but not even able to process what I was seeing. It was torture, but I did it... not because I wanted to, even, but because i didn't have a choice. I had no more access to my substance of choice (thankfully!) and knew no ways of obtaining street drugs or even an Rx for myself (also thankfully!) I know for a fact that if I knew how to get it, I would have done whatever I needed to to get what I wanted (luckily, I had no desire to use lower-level controlled substances like norco, xanax, etc. I could have gotten those but I had no purpose for them.)
I used benadryl, imodium and fortunately a few phenergan from an old rx to get me through the worst. I am so grateful I went through that and hope every day that i will never allow myself back to that place. It wa complete despair and hopelessness.
That was in December, and though I have used for a very short time last month, it was brief, small and short-lived, thankfully. 22 days ago I stopped and because my use had not escalated YET to that all-to-familiar point, I did not w/d this time.
Make it through one HOUR at a time. In early recovery, even a day seems insurmountable.