RN - amazing isn't it? I would swear that I couldn't be on the floor for a 12 hour shift without my 'medicine'.
oh yea - here I am trying to repair my broken self esteem with my new career and I'm nursing patients, some addicts, AND I'M POPPING OXY'S AND SOMAS LIKE TIC TACS!
Oh yes - I loved watching my combinations, how they felt, what 'worked', going up on diet pills and going down on my oxy's...all of it. yes, that was me! So much in common. Scary.
That first day at the dr's office I knew better. I damn well knew it. But.....the physical and emotional pain seemed to slip away....at first. Ahhh yes - the oxy lie. And does it lie. The best advice I got from my shrink was to stop looking at everything emotionally and take a clinical standpoint. That alone has helped because I am, by my own and every one else's opinion too emotional. So I 'nurse' myself and watch my withdrawal and PAWS.
oh yes....I was such the good nursie....the best on the floor....and now look at me. I'm not working. I want to go back to school but that scares me too.
Dump the guilt and shame because addiction doesn't care of you know better! And I've seen it impede the progress of many an addict. That shame guilt round a bout is insanity too. Dump it.
I'm so glad to see other medical folks here too. I don't want to say it's special...but it's different when YOU HAD THE KNOWLEDGE BUT SCREWED YOURSELF ANYWAY!
keep coming back. you are an inspiration.
34 days and moving forward.
Peace and blessings to you.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you Carl.
Thank the Universe.