Welcome!
I know just how you feel. Except I haven't kicked it more than once.
I'm in the medical field too. I thought I knew better....but 4 surgeries in 2 years plus 3 car accidents and I thought I had found the miracle cure for all my ills.
was that a lie or what?
I'm 34 days clean. At 4 days I'm amazed you can get out of bed to do anything at all. I think at day 4 I was in the depths of hell watching the golf channel and taking hot baths every hour. Twitching, jerking, sneezing (still sneezing!) sweats hot n cold and felt like I had icicles and hot lava in my veins all at the same time. Cold turkey. The only way for me.
And I can't do it twice.
I commend you for getting up and trying again. Keep trying. Just for today hold on.
You are enough. Today is enough.
Just hold on. Just for today.
Blessings to you and peace.
Thank you Carl.
Thank the Universe I am off that lying foking oxy train.