artist, I know how you feel and where you are at. I just today finally worked up the strenth to tell my HA BF that I need him to get clean and get back into AA/NA/HA within two weeks or he must go. The plan was I'd give him a drug test and we'd go to meetings together (I'm a RA). He said he's leaving now. So he might not be there when I get home. I know it is for the best, but it hurts so much. I know if I keep putting up with it, it is me who is getting hurt. I love him so so much but the addict in him doesn't care about that. I just thank god that I somehow found the strength to do it. Not just to make him promise me, not just to tell him that it needs to stop, but to actually put my foot down.