Hey BacktoBlack,
I'm sorry that you are going through a stressful time right now and maybe this plays also into why Amys passing makes you feel so devastated right now. Because it's adding on top of everyrthing else.
Maybe you can release your feelings by writing down what you would have told Amy as a recovering addict, or how she inspired you or you could relate to her lyrics. Just for yourself, not necessarily for anyone to read.
Stay strong, you can stay sober through this. You have many things uin your life that can be really great, even if there are some obstacles right now. Don't beat yourself up over the boyfriends moms comments, it's probably not your fault. Take good care of yourself too, you sound like a sensitive person who very caring. In times of stress, it's important that to also be good to yourself. Take care, and peace,
Lionne