wellwisher

Fear was something I needed to conquer in order to succeed. The way I was taught is that I could use FEAR to Fxxx Everything and Run or Face Everything and recover.

I chose the latter. You can too.

When I stopped drinking (also used to mask anger, fear, frustration and pain), it was kind of like chopping off my arm. There was a void there. I had to do something to compensate for my missing arm. That's where my recovery program came in. Not the existential thinking about doing it, but in the ACTION of doing it.

I also feared a diagnosis of a mental illness. As a matter of fact, I started going to a therapist before I got sober because I thought I was mentally ill. I had myself in the old chicken or the egg routine - was it a mental illness causing me to use or was it the using that was making me mentally ill. She told me she could make no such diagnosis until I was sober for some time.

Then came the "bottom" so many refer to that they have to hit (I don't buy that theory, by the way). I drank myself into such a frenzy I had to go to the emergency room, then detox, then inpatient rehab and AA.

I had to face everything and recover. Don't buy into the temporary relief of the benzos. They'll turn on you, and then you will be on to the next thing, which will then turn on you again.

Ask yourself, is it better to stay with the devil you know, or the devil you don't know. You already know what the outcome will be through the devil you know.

Face everything and recover! You can do this.