Did you ever start to feel better, then someone says something, and out of the blue those feelings come back again?
I was so looking forward to this vacation and one of my girlfriends asked if my XABF was coming. She already knew the circumstances and that we had broken up. She says, "I was really hoping that he would come to his senses and come with us". I was okay until this morning when I woke up. I've got so much to do. Packing, cleaning, papers to write for class. But all I've been able to do is lay here and cry. My stomach hurts again.
The XABF and I took my son on this vacation last year. We had such a good time. We planned this trip months and months ago. I keep trying to fool myself, but D***mit! We were supposed to go together. We would get up early to watch the sunrise on the beach. Sit up late and watch thunderstorms over the ocean. He was my best friend and I miss him.
I'm trying to read the book and literature, but I miss him so much. I miss the companionship that we had. I miss holding hands. I miss his eyes and sense of humor.
I got what I wanted with the no-contact. I followed thru on my threat. I asked him not to bother me again and he hasn't. But honestly, that's not what I wanted. It was a threat. I know it doesn't work that way with alcoholics, but I really didn't mean it. I really just wanted him to stop. And now I just feel very alone and dumb.