I know that as soon as I step through the doors, the smell of smoke and alcohol will drift through my nares and I will want to have a drink. I lasted 60 days last time. Went to a car show with a friend of mine. A band was playing, people were laughing, dancing and having a good time. My friend had a beer. I don't drink beer so I thought it would be ok. After an hour I thought, I can have just one beer. I had one beer and we went home. The next day I was out and about and without any thought, I stopped and got a 1/2 pint of vodka. Then later another 1/2 pint. Soon my drinking progressed into far worse than what it was before I quit. Two days later I bought a 1/2 gallon. I have never bought a half gallon. I was suppose to go to work but my roommate came home and found me on the floor with pizza all over the place. I had consumed 1/2 of that bottle in approx 3 hours. No work for me. Needless to say, I lost my job for no call no show. Sorry to keep going on. I have to remind myself daily why I am here. I have to find the triggers and learn how to deal with them. I want sobriety more than anything I ever wanted before. I don't want to give up my music. Music has gotten me through so many lonely years as a teenager. I will give up going to listen to bands if I have to. It just sucks thinking about it.