gibson3479

Well tonight was easier than the previous 2 nights.Ive had the best few nights with my family even with the slight anxiety I still feel.I had forgotten how much fun I have with them just sitting here talking and watching movies.Physically,I feel great ...no withdraws beyond the anxious feeling but it is alot less tonight.I still am going on little sleep and even laying here in bed I cant feel tired....Is that a symptom of withdraw? I dont feel bad though...just awake.To be honest Ive felt better today physically than I have in at LEAST 2 years...no headaches,not too shaky,I havent dry heaved even once (thats normally a morning ritual when I drink).Thats where I am physically heading into day 4 now...
Mentally,I still question my willpower but Ive done all I can do to not allow myself the opportunity to drink this weekend.My support system is in place and my husband told me tonight he is fully prepared for the fact that over the weekend I may snap and throw a fit ,guilt trip,b!tch,complain about feeling treated like a child, etc until I get my way to drink(Ive done it many times before).I always win and it ends up being an unhappy remainder of the weekend...(Im not proud of that )...He told me tonight while cooking dinner "if you try that,you wont win.I wont break and you can be mad and swear your going to pack and leave all you want but Im going to just stand my ground and love you because the past couple days watching you sober Ive saw that YOU are still in there". All I could do was hug him and cry.My 15 year old heard the conversation and said "we got this mom.We will all get through this together"....Wow Ive missed so much and its sad its taken this long to see it.Actually its time I stop playing victim THEY have missed so much.Seeing it like that I think is going to be half of my strength to stick with this and change my life.