just wanted to thank you for the responses..it was not an online relationship..I am trying so hard to detach..and yes I am getting in touch with myself..something I have not done for awhille..I am so angry..angry with him..angry with me...I know you can't be a victim..unless you play the part of one..I'm angry with myself for allowing him to play on my emotions..I'm angry with him for doing that..it's hard for me not to want confront him...I know I need to forgive myself..and forgive him...having a hard time doing that...I feel like I made it so easy for him...I wrote a letter 3 weeks ago...saying I understood how and why we connected at all...that we wouldn't have "danced" together at all..if not for our own issues...it was my way of owning my responsibilty in this relationship..I said neither of us were bad people..that because of our childhood wounds...we had developed some behavioral issues...that didn't serve either of us well..I got a response...it said thank-you...that's it...now that more time has gone by...I realize how angry I am..and part of my anger...is..I guess I wanted to hear..and still want to hear...some sort of acknowledgement...on his part...some recognition...some admission....some sort of validation...that he sees how he used me...something that says...he sees what he did...I feel like what I wrote...he interpreted it to mean...I excuse his behaviour...I DON"T...I have not at this time evolved so much..that I can forgive and let go...on an intellectual level..I have...but on an emotional level..I guess..I want him to acknowledge HIS behaviour...OWN his role..does this make sense????.....I want to be validated...OWN that he did hurt me...OWN that his behaviour...no matter how screwed up it was....HURT ME..it was not okay...and I didn't deserve it..
thank you..for listening...today I am in pain....I'm angry at myself...for not being able to forgive and let go..I now this is hurting me..if I don't do that..but I can't seem to get there....
does anyone understand??....if you do..how did you come to terms with it all??...
thank-you