Thanks guys. Good points, especially that the dysfunction is probably there to stay and its up to me to learn to have tolerance and detachment.
I don't care much about his family and what they think of me...but I do care that this has become an issue between us. That seems unnecessary and unrealistic. But sobriety doesn't mean sudden perfection on all controversy. *SIGH* I wish it did!
What I love about my family is that we can laugh and enjoy our "dysfunction". We are all old enough and distance enough to acknowledge it and find it humorous, instead of being defensive about our quirks. So when he complains, I just agree and laugh. Makes me appreciate my family more today...!