I live in an insane asylum, I'm certain of it.
What other explanation could there be? They say the warden of an asylum often ends up even crazier than the people s/he is the caretaker of. Today was a beautiful day.
My husband spent most of yesterday evening locked out of the house. I locked the door initially thinking that he had passed out in the bedroom again, but he had actually gone back to the liquor store. I realized my mistake, unlocked the door and apologized to the man sitting on the porch. He proceeded to cuss me out for disturbing his silence, and told me that he didn't care about my apology, it meant nothing to him. Okay, it means nothing to him -- so I go back inside and re-lock the door. I proceed to have a surprisingly stress-free evening with the kids, though the barbecue grill got knocked over outside and the drain spout has been torn from its brackets by yet another drunken fall.
My dog is now naked. This morning, dear hubby is still intoxicated (big shocker there). I go out to sit beside him while he has his morning cigarette. Neither of us say a word. After his cigarette, he calmly pulls a pair of scissors out of his back pocket and hacks several large chunks out of our Miniature Schnauzer/Min Pin cross's back. He wanted to help her cool off, it's been over 100 degrees all week, with overnight lows around 78. My son helped me make a salad for dinner, and then helped me shave the dog.
I discovered another husband-shaped dent in the wall. We now have quite a collection of these, including chips off of the concrete wall along the basement stairs, and a beautiful head-shaped hole that managed to appear just two inches from the floor in the living room. Still pondering the odds that there are no wall-shaped dents in the husband.
My van, which has been broken down for nearly a year, will be fixed by the end of the month. This is the beautiful part. Despite everything, I still managed to rescue the debit card that had my vehicle repair savings on it from AH's back pocket. He passed out again before he could get to the liquor store. He now has $12 left. For two days. Sadly, after that, his unemployment (which has just had the extension approved) will be deposited. Thankfully, after I get the money order for rent, he will only have $200 to use for groceries or to drink. I will invoice one of my clients so we can get groceries, and there will be a couple of dry days before the next payment.
Just a typical day of nothing out of the ordinary.