Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy

I've realized that alcohol was pretty much the basis of my relationship with AH from the start... When we were dating, whenever we got together alcohol was involved in some way-- go for a hike... get drinks afterward (always his idea!), go to the ocean... get drinks with lunch... I didn't think this was abnormal either. I remember my sister once saying something to me like "it's nice to hear that you did something with him that didn't have to involve him drinking" when I told her about some outing we'd had and I recall being angry that she was so judgemental. Never once occurred to me that I should be concerned about his drinking. I saw his dad (an alcoholic) as a man with drinking problems-- not AH (ABF at the time). His dad drank in isolation, was outwardly angry and snapped at everyone all the time. He drank vodka from the bottle and hid out in his room all day. AH at the time was a fun drinker-- expressed emotions when drinking (something he didn't do when he was sober). He charmed everyone, he was good looking, adventurous, athletic, a rule breaker and the overall effect had me enamored. His dad was the image of a man with a drinking problem and at that time I didn't see that AH had a thing in common with him. I just figured that he liked to drink and so what if it seemed he drank a lot-- he could handle it.

I found myself, a 1-2 glass of wine occassionally drinker, drinking more and more to have something in common with him. Drinking shots on a worknight and being flattered that AH wanted to spend time with me at a bar... Sick.

When I grew up and outgrew that lifestyle (after we'd been together a year he went to grad school and I moved to another state and we had a long distance r/s for 2 yrs and my lifestyle changed pretty much as soon as I moved) and he didn't I started realizing that the only positive times we had together required one of us or both of us to be drinking. If he was drinking and I wasn't, things could still be pleasant, if we both were drinking he was nicer to me than ever... It was like I joined a special club or something... But more and more we had less and less in common. ...