I have never took the time to look at myself........I didnt even know that I thought I didnt matter......I just thought this was normal......I didnt realize how much it affected me until just recently........my parents were my parents and I needed to listen to them and do what they wanted at all times or get into trouble..........now dont get me wrong kids are suppose to listen to their parents.........but they are also suppose to know that there ideas, thoughts and dreams are important and they need to be able to make some of their own decisions and maybe learn the hard way sometimes and learn that mom and dad are not always going to cover up or make excuses for you...........or think that they have explain to other people that they had taught me better then just because you didnt agree with them or live up to their standards................I have always tried to teach my child.........its okay to be mad at me, because I also get mad at you......I am not always going to do what you want, just like you are not always going to do what I want.......I am not always going to be fair and right just like you are not always going to be fair and right...........the most important thing I am trying to teach her is respect............I tell her that she can get mad at me all she wants to and she has a right to her opinion........but if she has to go to her room and swear, scream or write anything down that was okay........but dont let me here you call me a bitch...........or see the nasty notes you may want to write about me..........and I will do the same......I am hoping that i am breaking the chain...........(do you know what I mean) I am looking at things differntly now............or I am trying to train myslef to do that........I am just starting to see all the things that I thought were normal were very abnormal............
My husband is so much like my parents............he thinks kids opinions dont matter..........it doesnt matte what they want it is going to be his way or no way.....he is the boss.........this is his castle and when they get their own homes they can do what they want.........(HE IS JUST LIKE THEM, SCARY ISNT IT)