Fadedwaste

So I guess that I could say that I am doing rather well...just quit the bottle and cocaine among other substances but I haven't been having the best of luck with the current meds that I am on. I guess it is easier for me to see how well the meds are working now that I am not all messed up on stuff. I'm currently on Lithium, Gabitril (also for my alcohol recovery), Klonopin, and now just recently a drug called Adderall XR that I do not know much about except that I am not to exceed the dosage or stop abruptly...it is for my attention problems that come about bipolar. I also am a single father with a daughter that means the world to me. I guess my dilemma is that some of these meds aren't making me feel all that great and am also afraid of relapsing. The Lithium makes me feel a kind of low and at times it makes me feel like I want to use again. Sure the mania is gone but I want to feel more alive...not like a zombie all the time. And here is another rising complication that I am not to sure is a problem or not. This new drug they have put me on, in which I have only been on for two days, (Adderall XR) I feel really energized and alive..more productive. Kind of like cocaine but just not that craving feeling or twitching. Can this be a problem? Is this normal of this medication? I feel really good, much better than being just on the Lithium but it sounds too good to be true. I feel that if I stay on this med that it will lead me to better things..hopefully it will. I was wondering if anybody else gets this zombie like feeling on Lithium or if it is just me...I feel like I want to get off and feel like a normal human being again. Also, does anybody else have any experience with this drug Adderall or know anything about it? Having bi-polar sucks, especially since I have a history of abuse problems...any uplifting stories about those with bi-polar? I never really tell anybody about my mental problem and figured since this site offered something for it that I would. Well...until then