(((BD))) I'm so sorry you're going through this. You know, my dad was was extremely verbally abusive to me growing up. I was his primary caregiver during the last 5 years of his life and he continued to put me down and belittle me...but I was all he had so I dealt with it. When the end was near all of my resentments toward him just went away and all I wanted to do was just hold on to him for as long as I could. I got sober a month after he passed.