Hi HFA, Bdiddy, Beth... I'm good. Made it through "Divorced Women's Group Therapy Night" without a drop of alcohol. Almost everyone was sipping wine, but it really didn't tempt me. I came with a full stomach (full dinner of chicken, corn and even ice cream for dessert!) Wine on top of all that just didn't seem appealing. I tend to only want to drink on an empty stomach and at the bewitching time of day for me (4-6 pm ish). So I was completely fine.
Two things I noticed:
(1) My divorce situation is very, very good compared to most of the women there. My relationship with my ex is very unusual (unusually good, that is.) You would not believe some of the horror stories I heard tonight.
(2) About 4 or 5 women there had ex-husbands with alcohol addiction problems and they all talked about them. I knew all about what they were dealing with from personal experience, however I did not share any of my own personal addiction problems with them. We were there to discuss divorce, but I was so surprised at how often alcohol entered the discussion (in terms of the men having a problem). One of my friends says her husband is on antibuse (the kind you inject) and he's still drinking. She found a bottle of vodka in his freezer. Anyhow, it was interesting to hear about addiction/alcohol problems in this light.
Beth, it sounds like you're doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. Nice to know that you hit your bottom, and recognizing what it was. I also hit my bottom. It was trying to hide a hangover from my mother and sneaking off to the bathroom to vomit and looking in the mirror and seeing that my face looked yellow. That was my wake up call/bottom.
So I passed a little test tonight. Tomorrow should be easier. No social events to deal with. I'm doing yoga in the morning.
I have very mixed feelings about my new au pair and TRYING not to let it stress me out. It's not worth my health, my sanity and overall well being.
Good night.