You have lots of good thoughts Laura, I like the diabetic analogy you made for yourself. Whatever the reason you have for not drinking is a good one! For me it is because frankly there was zero fun left in for me. I use to feel free when I drank and be happy and smiley. The whole time I drank in Atl I just felt shame,powerless,angry,ugly,stupid,anxious,sadness, undeserving,almost suicidal, and most of all like a horrible mother. I can only imagine what my friends must've thought of me. I will never give my power away like that to anyone or anything again. Period.
I have many things I have to work on and I plan on not making any huge decisions in the next year. I am just going to try to heal all the damage I have done to myself over the past 20 years. I feel like someone who has to learn to walk again. Like everything else, I will put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time
I am excited to meet the real me. It's been a long time...
So you keep on doing what you're doing Laura.
I am proud of us both.
DAY 20