Hi
When you said just "old tired and hollowed-out," I can relate to this in my own way physically and mentally. I didn't lose anyone but i felt like i was losing myself down a well of darkness making a fool of myself the whole way down.
It seems like in the early stages of alcoholism the body can endure the pain and carry on in everyday life. And at the time it seems repeatable over and over again. But that don't last long as we all know.
I know people have a hard time quitting because boredom sets in. A good way to understand how using boredom isn't wise at all as a gage of good living is to look at the results of being sober after 6-12 months vs drunk. Look at the accomplishments of the recently sober time vs the drunk time.
The transition period between the last drink and 6 months is a mind trip and can be a little scary and confusing. But it must be traversed through. And after it's over you'll realize it wasn't so bad after all.
Good luck.