First, don't blame yourself. Thats like not knowing the symptoms of a disease until after you've been diagnosed. AFTER you know you look back and say, "hmmm...now that makes sense".
I've been where you are, except I knew the warning signs and ignored them anyways.
I've also found empty bottles, dated empty bottles (to throw back in the drunk's face when he claimed they were old), and marked partially filled bottles (which doesn't work because they may just refill it with water or another "new" bottle of alcohol).
This path is exhausting. It takes so much time and energy (physical and emotional) to monitor the alcoholic that we forget about ourselves. Like you said, take time to evaluate your situation, research the disease, look inside yourself, and in time you will figure out what is best for you.
The hardest part for me (dealing with an alcoholic father and fiance) is accepting the fact that there is NOTHING I can do to keep them sober or trigger the "need" for a drink.
Good luck on your journey. I hope you find peace. Please post anytime you need to, as it helps you and all of us reading your post too!!