"I quit taking antibuse because it's bad for my liver" (he says after drinking an entire bottle of whiskey.
"It's YOUR job to make sure I take my antibuse everyday. If you don't I'll probably drink again" (actually it's NOT my job. Last time I checked I wasn't your mommy)
"AA is full of people standing around the punch bowl trying to hook-up"
"I can replace you like that"
"I love you more than the alcohol....I choose you" (3 days later he was drunk for a 72hrs bender).
While discussing empty bottles I found..."You know I can't remember EVERY place I've hidden bottles when I was drunk!" What makes you more of an alcoholic...that you can't remember where you hid them, that you have that many bottles, or that you feel the need to hide them!!
(After working a 13 hour day and coming home to find him VERY drunk)...
Me: "have you been drinking?"
Him: "no, why would you say that. It hurts my feelings"
Me: "then what is this" (showing him the empty cans he thinks he hid from me)
Him: "those have been there FOREVER"
Me: "What about this reciept from the liquor store for $47? What did you buy?"
Him: "A burrito...no wait....3 burritos"
Me: "and this cost $47?"
Him: (long pause) "No....I got a salad too!"