Somber,
I agree....you can do this. It's hard and confusing but you've got a good head on your shoulders.
First, looking on his FB was a codie relapse but it happened. And you also received information that allows you more clarity about him. I happed into my husband open email account last week. I know that I should not have looked but I ended up with important information that allowed me to clearly see that he was lying to me. Shouldn't have done it - but I am glad that I know. Progress not perfection.
Addicts lie - and even addicts in recovery can lie. Going to rehab is just the very first piece of the puzzle. Kindeyes is right - rehab only teaches them the tools.
I've always heard that the first year of recovery needs to be focused on the individual....during my husband's first year all I did was focus on me. Everytime that I wanted him to do something recovery related I made myself go and do it. It helped a whole lot.
My husband never stuck with recovery but he has remained sober. That has not been the answer though because he never did learn to live life on life's terms.....we are now apart because I just couldn't tolerate it any longer.
Your kids need you and they need you to be "okay". If you are diistracted and worried they will know it. If he doesn't come home then at least you can provide a safe haven for them. When you live with someone in active addiction you are teaching your children to either tolerate someone using or how to use. I agree with you that a sober living place would be a whole lot better than having him at home. At least then you can watch from a distance to see if he is going to do what he needs to do.
You did the right thing by posting. It takes a whole lot of support to get through this sort of stuff and there are lots of wonderful people here that want to - and will - be there for you.
Hang in there!