Somber,
It sounds as though your instincts are right, that you should separate your self and your children from your husband. Reading your posts gives me the impression that you're dealing with this with too broad a horizon - by that your references to the beginning of your relationship with him and "anything he may do in the future."
For the reasons you stated, it seems best that he not return to your home on wednesday. Best for your children, best for you, and if he's serious about his recovery - living in a SLE would be best for him. But whether and how he navigates his recovery is really secondary. You need to take care of your children first and foremost. The way that you got the information you mentioned was absolutely underhanded, but the information is consistent with his actions and refusal to discuss issues that are critical to your life together.
So as a person in recovery, I would suggest not allowing him back into your home. There may be a day when you will want to reconsider this, but that is way beyond the time frame you can reasonably consider and act upon (now and the immediate future).
Good luck, and stay in touch. You can do this.