Thanks Hope2be
that is what I am concerned with if the ACoA big red book will open up old wounds and how people work through that.
I almost dread it.
The childhood stuff was relatively sort of normal - a lot of verbal fighting between parents that was kept from us until teen years - then tons of verbal fighting.
I did read on this forum that someone considered children being exposed to fighting of parents is considered a form of emotional abuse.
Then my Mom became an alcoholic after we were all grown which is just as painful.
And set up the dysfunctional family roles - I believe the ACoA now includes children/adults from dysfunctional families (not necessarily with an alcoholic or drug addict).
- What did end up helping the most: got out some forum posts I have saved and also got out the DBT book - Dialectical Behavior Therapy - helps with coping skills in a rational manner.
That helped some.
The biggest thing I did: heavy yardwork - that had me forgetting about it, but kept the thought of getting my yard in shape and my house to be able to invite new people/FOC (family of choice) over.
The yardwork erased that depressed/anxious feeling - guess I will have the big clippers, rake, weed eater, and lawnmower on standy to use as needed.
Tomorrow have a big sports event to participate in.
So staying busy does help.
Yes, we all know what we are going through.