Originally Posted by
KeepinOnDaily 
What do I WANT? I want to go back to pretending this was all okay because atleast at the time I didn't have to go through all the fighting, separating, phone calls, texts, back and forth explanations to my parents, blah blah blah--- and I could just go through my life being in a constant state of denial but atleast I could attempt to suck it up and have fun instead of feeling sick everyday now and worried.
He said he wanted to pay the rest of the balance on our vacation coming up and my mom said, "Are you CRAZY? You can't go on that vacation!" I just am in this state of shock. So our 10 yr anniversary vacation---that looms over us both now too. What do we do?
I hear you. I am you. I have a 20 year anniversary coming up. I spent alot of time with my head buried under the covers hoping it would all go away. It got worse. Maybe just think about what you can do today, right now for yourself. Just know that you are not alone...