asharin - welcome, although i am sorry you find the need for this type of help- we are all unwilling participants, but we certainly all understand your concerns - the thing about addiction is that it not only effects the addict's brain and behaviors, but it causes us who love that addict to have to skew our thinking especially if we are the parents - it took me a looong time to really grasp the idea that i cannot think about what my son needs to do or what i need to do as his mother in a "normal" way - sojourner's advice is really good - an addict has to relearn how to live and that has to be his desire for it to be successful - the more people he has around him that understand what he is dealing with the better - please continue to come back and share - we all depend on each other here to encourage, share and sometimes give us a kick in the pants if needed -