((angie))
Honey - I'm sure you are very scared - No your AH is not some stranger on the street - he is your husband and the kids' father - but please let me share my experience, strength and hope with you - please just take a few moments to read . . .
I lived with an active drug user for 17 yrs - I thought too I was protecting our daughters from being in "danger" but when I got into recovery for myself (al-anon) I had my eyes opened to several things. . .
NO my exah never once hit our daughters, but this is what he did do to our household. . .
every day we wondered if we would walk into the house and find him dead from an OD or an accident from something he had done while under the influence
constantly our daughters had to hid their bday money, allowance, valuables, etc. because he would take them to support his habit
he was under the influence at bdays, christmas, holidays, their graduation, wedding and some perfectly normal days ~ they had to face their friends with him like that. . .
as the disease progressed we had to deal with the phone calls and people "looking" for him - I'm sure he owed them money or either he was selling to them
our daughters had to grow up in a household where their mom was constantly on edge because of his addiction ~ where their mom worked 2 & 3 jobs to support them - so therefore she missed school trips, activities and lots of time with them.
Maybe our girls were never physically abused - but suffer?
YES! Horribly - I know now - I did my daughters a horrible injustice by allowing them to be raised in this painful environment - Today I have to be a living amends to them - When I learned a better way - I started making healthier choices for myself and for them
When the time is right for you and your children, you can too!
But please know - you and your children are being affected by his disease more than you may realize.
PINK HUGS,
Rita