Could it be that you are honeymooning? I say this b/c I've been there-lots of times. Right after the promises of "I swear, it will be different this time" there is usually a honeymoon period, where I am able to tell myself that things ARE different b/c he is not using (today) and that it's all because I'm letting go and letting God. He was "finally" sick and tired of hurting his family. Even the meetings would get amped up. But really, it's simply just the calm before the storm. Sure, we can give it up to God. But what happens when the outcome is not as we wanted?
Not trying to predict what's going to happen, but the whole situation sounds all too familiar.
My RAH is 90 days clean right now-fresh out of rehab and I have NO desire to have him living with us until I've seen more behavioral changes. It could take forever. Oh well. He is consistent with the kids, which is all that matters right now. Believe me, he wants to be with his family more than anything, but knows that recovery needs to come first.
Our situation is far from perfect, but it's the best we have to work with. I can identify with what you are saying b/c before my RAH entered rehab, it seemed like a never ending cycle of: promises, honeymoon, suspicions, accusations, denials, snooping, persecutions. I still get sucked back a few steps occasionally.
It wasn't until I truly detatched, that I was able to see the situation for what it was, and the role I played in the indirect enabling that kept the cycle going.
My thoughts are with you, and I hope you prove me wrong...