chicory

Well, I finally went to an online al-anon meeting last night. so many people I did not get to share, but heard some good stuff. I noted that there would be an acoa meeting tonight, so I went. Lot of people there, no one greeted me, and it was a bit stilted, as compared to the chat meetings we have here on sr. but, anyway,
The subject was "Shame"
I listened to several people share, and was moved by some of them. I am an aca, and could really relate to their pain.
when one lady finished i typed thanks for sharing-hug.
we did that in chat meetings here on sr. i have always thought that was very kind, and comforting to me.
next long winded share, good stuff, tho. I typed, thank you so and so, great share.
The last share was very moving. It was her first meeting. She shared something very short, and deeply moving, and expressed her gratefulness at finding others who were aca's. I wrote, ty for sharing ,hug.

Ok, i guess i am a dummy. i get a personal message from the stand in moderator, reminding me of the rule of "no crosstalk". I just wrote "What?"
and he said, that we are only allowed to thank the sharer and add no other talk. no hugs, since others might be very uncomfortable with that.
Well, I apologized, telling him I meant no disrespect, and then i just signed out. I was ashamed! this meeting was about shame, and they shamed me!

I guess I am too stupid for acoa meetings even. can i blame it on my childhood? lol
not going back there.
i truly did not know this would be wrong. blame it on my boundary deficit. i feel such shame tonight- yuk!!!


P.S. some of them added other words besides thank you so and so. guess they knew each other. ignorance on my part. now they will never know that i am not some jerky predator.