(((TC))) - having been a nurse, I saw the life and death thing almost on a daily basis. It DOES affect you, or at least it did me. I also had a mom who was told she'd never live to see me turn 10 (heart problems when I was born). I was 29 when she died, but she grabbed every day as if it was a gift.
Through the decades of codie-ness, the few years of addiction, I think I lost that appreciation, but I have it, even more now. I'm trying to embrace that love of life my mom had. Still have my "in a funk" days, but they don't last, and I get back on track.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy