Hi Sarah, I can really relate to your post. For me the journey from a realisation that I need to quit drinking as I am an alcoholic to actually quitting drinking (for precisely the same reason you have stated) took around a year and a half. Now not everyone is as stubborn as me and I felt really bad about that wishing it had not taken so long as my life became seriously erroded as a result. HOwever, that was my journey and I personally needed to go through it in order to gain sobriety. I have nearly 40 days now. I will say Sarah and I hope this is the same for you, when I did finally say ENOUGH it was easy. I was lucky, I know, I didn't suffer anxiety or anything else, like a lot of people seem to. Obviously during the course of this sober time I have had thoughts of wine but so far I have been able to make the choice not to. And just as everyone on this site seems to say sobriety is so much better than drinking. Life, just doing all the same old things, are so much better.
I don't believe one can give up alcohol until they are truly ready, some people say the hitting rock bottom. For me though it was more like a flicking of a switch -- one that enabled me to then say no more. Once that happens things just seem to fall into place.
There really is a great new life ahead. Well it isn't new, it is the old life but you will get to savour it, feel it and remember it. Sure things **** me off, but I can cope with them.
The other thing is, you do need support. There are so many forms out there whether they are formal or informal. I went through very formal which although I learned a lot from was not sustainable for me because of my somewhat, er, difficult personality but now have sort of made up my own programme which I am very comfortable with. My advice is to just test the waters, meet some people, get out there into the sober community and educate yourself (even if you are not quite ready to give up the wine just yet). Hope I have been helpful, sometimes I can go on a bit... I wish you well Sarah! Oh and keep posting here, this place is great.