Originally Posted by
dollydo 
My dad, who died last year was real CHEAP, he denied himself and was a very selfish man. I resented him for that behavior flaw.I was an only child to him, a good student, and, wanted to go on to college, I had a partial scholarship, yet needed money for a place to live, books, food and so on. Well, he told me if I wanted an education I'd have to figure out how to do it on my own. So, I did, took me 6 years, working during the day and going to school at night.
When I finally became somewhat successful, he taunted me, "Look, there is my daughter the executive." Never a word of praise, never lifted a hand to help me.
This went on his entire life, he lived like paulper, he was all about money, money and more money. Now, he is gone, one of the last things he said to me was "I am sorry that I cannot take my money with me, you are going to get it, BUT, don't spend it."
Surely, he jests, my goal is to take my last breath and spend my last dollar at the same time! Just kidding!
My spending style is middle of the road, I always pay myself first, that means paying my bills and saving a certain % for my short and long term goals. This takes planning, do you have a budget? How do you view money, what is its purpose to you?
You are taking some positive steps, keep moving forward. Sounds like you have some impulse control issues, these can be corrected. There are alot of self help books out there, go to the library, there is a wealth of information there.
If you will forgive your father, you will be more apt to get your life together, right now you are allowing him to hold you prisioner.
I forgave my father for me, not him, try and let it go.
Sending hugs your way,
Keep venting it will help!
That's how my dad is. He complains bitterly about lack of money but uses it as an excuse not to bother with things he doesn't want to bother with anyway. He works so hard at saving money by not spending on certain things he winds up paying more later especially on things like his car & house. He'll wait until minor issues/observations become major repair problems. The problem has to affect him.
He's ultra conservative with his finances too but again what worked 20 years ago is not working now. On one hand barely survived the 2008 crash but on the other he has made super slow progress since. And I've given him more aggressive but safe and/or mainstream ideas and he refuses to listen.
Then he whines about not having money. Then he blames the economy and then he blames the politicians. You get the same lecture then rant everytime money is mentioned in the smallest form. But he whines about no money and refuses financial or physical help to his own detriment. He's so old fashioned about finance with things like your credit that he is one of the senior family members that thinks the problem alcoholic & massive over spender should be given money just to preserve their credit.
And you dare not talk about ANYONE in the family immmediate or relative like they have an addiction problem. He actually jumped on me for talking about someone in terms of addiction & rehab ie don't enable and these are the signs.
You are right, venting helps.