I feel for you......This is one of my worst fears. With my AH, his brother killed himself years ago over a "girl" when he was 18 and I'm afraid this kind of thinking runs in the family. I'm afraid that my AH will threaten the same or even do the same when I tell him I want a separation. This is probably one of the things that scares me the most, I don't want him to take his own life because of this because I don't know how I'd live with myself if he did. But....I'm learning through counseling that this line of thinking and the consequences of his own actions are not my responsibility. It's taken me a long time to get to this point and this is why I've realized I'm still "in", but I'm now to the point that I've learned I have to be responsible and protect myself and our 9 yo son. My thoughts are with you....hang in there and be strong.