lillamy

When my AXH was in rehab, he kept asking me questions like that.
How come I couldn't forgive him when he had met people in rehab who had lost their jobs, lost their homes, crashed their cars, ended up in jail? How come I couldn't forgive him for what he had done when there were other wives who had been able to forgive their spouses for behavior that was much worse???

The only answer I had for him was that I had told him years before that his drinking, if it continued, would wreck our marriage. I had told him that I didn't know how, or when, or where, but I knew for sure that if he did not get help, I would, eventually, leave him. And that this was his last warning. That I would not nag, complain, beg, bribe, negotiate about his alcoholism -- that he'd better listen carefully because I would say this only once.

And he didn't believe me.
But I am a woman of my word.
And so when I reached my limit -- I left.

Other people have other limits. Other people are in other phases/places in their recovery. It doesn't matter what other people can handle/want to put up with any more than it matters that other people's alcoholics might be worse behaved than mine.

When I reach my limit, I reach my limit. And I stand up straight for my right to enforce my boundary.

Don't beat yourself up, B. You drew the line when you felt it was right to draw the line, and you have every right to do so.